for the crowd

It’s Whitney, bitch!
May 15, 2008, 11:49 am
Filed under: Fashion, Movies and Shows, People | Tags: , ,

Don’t you love my new header? It’s Bai Ling. She’s been vectored. Ooooh. The very lovely person who made it for me (after I badgered her, of course) is guilting me to take back my previous comment. So. Do not screw Prince Caspian. You may see that instead of Speed Racer and you will not be judged. Because while one has Matthew Fox, the other has Ben Barnes, and of course you go to family-oriented movies just to sit in the dark and think dirty thoughts about the hot actors, and then immediately feel ashamed. That’s what all my friends and I do, anyway… or maybe that’s just me. So don’t screw Prince Caspian, I take that remark back (but it’s entirely up to you whether to want to screw Prince Caspian… you know, sans italics).

So anyway, onto more important(?) things.

It’s finally happened. America’s Next Top Model has an ass.

 mmm, hips!
(full picture: here)

For a moment, near the end of the episode, I thought the judges were going to pick Anya. Not that I have anything against Anya – I loved her, she was adorable. But I wanted Whitney. Maybe it was infuriating because Tyra, definitely not a size zero, was still heading a competition where only bony, skinny girls were picked. Maybe, even though everyone talked about changing the standards of beauty, no one was actually doing anything.

I didn’t really expect them to pick Whitney. Hell, I thought they’d boot her once she reached the top three so that the judges wouldn’t be forced to pick the skinny over the booty. Unlike all the other plus-sized models the show has had, Whitney didn’t fall apart and talk about going on a diet or feel bad about herself. Instead she was a complete bitch (heeheehee) and kept a thick skin. She just did her own thing, and look – she made it.

Let’s face it, America’s Next Top Model isn’t award-winning television, and I pretty much watch it and am very aware I’m not being intellectually stimulated, but it’s nice to just watch trash tv and not have to think. It’s especially nice to see the trash tv actually doing something constructive, too.

I guess the real test will be to see whether Whitney stays the way she is, physically and mentally. Don’t go all skinny on us, Whitney. And stop letting them put corsets and cinchers on you, christ.

this photo makes kurt cobain cry, wherever he is
(full picture: here)


go speed go!!!1one
May 10, 2008, 1:02 pm
Filed under: Movies and Shows | Tags: ,

the crucible, yo

When I first saw the preview for the Speed Racer movie, my eyes practically popped out of my head and I started to count down the days to May. This was partly due to the fact that Matthew Fox happened to be in it, clad head to toe in black leather, but also it was the colour that took my breath away, and how different everything looked, how realistic and anime and just fantastical. Also, I’m a big fan of the cartoon, and it’s on my list of Favourite Things (screw the kitten whiskers, man – I like cartoons, yo). So of course last night I was in line at the IMAX, hopping up and down.

I don’t really like reviews, or to review things, ’cause personally I think they’re a waste of time, both mine and the readers’. I read reviews to get the technical gist of something I want to buy, usually. Often you have to dig through someone’s misguided opinion; and personally, I really couldn’t care less about someone else’s opinion when it comes to the things I like. Album reviews, I don’t trust, since listening to albums before reviewing them is so totally not cool these days. Book reviews have got to be the worst thing on the planet for me, because I’ve made the mistake of buying books completely based on their glowing reviews, only to find that the critics must’ve been talking about some other book but there was a miscommunication with the editors. But there is something I really, really need to say about Speed Racer, and you can believe me or not as you please.

Speed Racer is a perfect movie.

Bear in mind this is based completely on a single viewing, but know that there was a lot of lead up for me. I obsessively watched trailers and interviews with the cast, I memorized the weird hip hop song they had paired with the movie, I rewatched all of the old cartoons. I walked in there fully expecting to be let down, but I wasn’t. I was blown away. The classic elements of the anime were there, but the movie looked so different from any other movie out there.

It’s being called a children’s movie, but when I think of children’s movies I think of kids outwitting bad guys or Christmas specials (or a marriage of the two). Nothing in that movie annoyed me in the way a normal kids’ movie would. There was a real moral in the story, there was actual love and character and sadness. And also, the script was hilarious. Anybody could watch that movie and appreciate it.

Actually, it’s kind of like when you’re little and you watch Disney movies, and then you rewatch them when you’re older and see how dirty those movies could be at times (Hunchback of Notre Dame comes to mind). There were bits in Speed Racer that adults would definitely appreciate. The politics of the world the actors were in were definitely well-developed, too, making it real, instead of just some silly, candy-coloured movie for kids ten and under.

So go see it. It was mind-blowing. Screw Prince Caspian, go see Speed Racer. In Speed Racer there are cars, candy, and Matthew Fox’s leather-clad ass. Go on. You know you want to see that.